Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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