I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
