pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
