I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
