guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
