Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
