and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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