Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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