I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
