i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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