Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's Friday. Sex?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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