it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
