I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
