I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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