"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just pynch a tree in the face
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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