you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
