I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
only if we run a train.
done.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
