mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
