Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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