I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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