I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
