Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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