I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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