you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
