OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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