He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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