it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
