if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
