I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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