I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
