Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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