I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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