I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
