YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
