Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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