this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
