I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
