he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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