took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
