her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
