Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
