So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
