I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
