The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
