My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
