I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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