as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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