Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
