four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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