just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
