Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
