just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
