Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
