I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
