After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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