So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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