Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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