kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
